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  • David Brady

Love The One You're With


When you choose the path of self-development and philosophy you are choosing to evaluate the state of your mind. Senica said it best, "To the best of your ability demonstrate your own guilt, conduct inquiries of your own into all the evidence against yourself. Play the part first of prosecutor, then of judge and finally of pleader in mitigation. Be harsh with yourself at times". So how then can you do this work and not be too harsh with yourself? I make the case to love oneself. To quote the great poet Virgil "Though you cross the boundless oceans through, lands and towns or left a stern". So if wherever you go you carry yourself why not love the one your with? People will say don't be too hard on yourself or be easy on yourself, I say love yourself. If you are in the presence of yourself at all times even while sleeping, why would it make sense not to enjoy that person? Would you choose to be in the company of a villain or a fool at all times? Of course not, we choose our companions because they bring us joy, so why should it different when it comes to ourselves. After you have done some inquiry about yourself and undoubtedly your actions in the past, forgive yourself so that you can truly love yourself. Just like you need to forgive a friend or a lover that has wronged you if you choose to continue the relationship. We have all fallen short of our "perceived" expectations. Looking at our actions through the lens of hindsight, and lessons learned make them all the more apparent and painful to review. Take for example my case an incident that troubled me until I did what I am prescribing. I was a young man traveling the country between semesters in college. I had a close friend that was traveling with me I knew he had a problem with drugs but in all appearances, he was able to conceal his problem. He was able to keep it concealed from not only family but friends, but I saw through his camouflage, I knew the extent of his problem. I choose not to say anything because I worried it would cost our friendship. So I looked past it and after some time the problem got worse as all addictions tend to do. It got to the point that for my own safety and mental health I needed to end the friendship. For years I carried the guilt of it, the feeling I had deserted my friend in his time of need, but as we know you can not change another person they need to want change for themselves. I had the benefit of time to reflect on this and as years passed I still carried this guilt around like a kettlebell. Almost 30 years had passed I had a family of my own, a business by all standards I was successful. But this weight still robed me of happiness at the most unsuspecting times, in fact, it affected my decision makings during that time. It was finally time to let go of this and other things that were holding me back. So I did a recapitulation exercise, one of many. To "conduct inquiries of my own into all the evidence against yoursel" I was finally able to put down the kettlebell for good and move forward with my life in a way that was new to me, one free from those feelings of guilt for the past. When you think about it you can only live in one "time" at a time I choose the present. So why not do it with yourself? Try it, you don't have anything to lose. You may just gain a best friend for life!

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